Energy Low Perspective Distorted Gentleness Required

It’s the holidays.

Only when I’ve stopped have I started to realise how exhausted I am.

My Not Degree has been in a holding pattern for quite some time as all available energy has been routed to get me through to the break.

Over the first few days I’ve been spiralling on Youtube and Facebook.

It has felt awful.

Not Degree work and Sandbox entry have felt impossible.

All this is understandable.

In the midst of this I’ve managed to come up with an additional framework and a new (very simple) computer tool.

The newly invented scaffolding can be summarised as:

Energy Low / Perspective Distorted / Gentleness Required

The classic Perspective Distortion I frequently suffer from is when I am feeling tired I see the future as a future where I am just as tired as I am in that moment. What I feel I am capable of doing is then seen through this lens. A classic way it can play out is that when tired I am unable to summon the energy to enter a Sandbox because I am seeing a future where I distrust my ability to keep at it and revisit the Sandbox so get discouraged before I even start.

So this pattern can be summarised as:

Energy Low / Perspective Distorted -> Discouraged

Discouraged is not a happy destination…. Stay there and you wallow in feeling useless.

Feeling discouraged is very much related to the Frying Pan Problem. This is where you feel like you’re efforts are like droplets of water falling one by one on a hot frying pan and evaporating immediately.

What’s the path through?

I think it looks like this:

Energy Low / Perspective Distorted / Discouragement / Choose courage -> Reps Under Distortion

The move is to own the discouragement but recognise that it isn’t you’re final destination unless you want it to be.

What are Reps Under Distortion? That’s when you choose to act positively even though you are feeling low. It builds resilience, counter evidence to Perspective Distortion and courage.

Now where does the Gentleness Required I mentioned earlier fit in?

I think it can/should be applied at each stage:

Energy Low / Perspective Distorted / Discouragement / Choose courage -> Reps Under Distortion

Earlier I mentioned a simple computer tool.

It is related to my Sandchain logger but even less directive and more gentle.

It’s called Bootstrap5.

It borrows a rule from Sandchain, where Sandbox learning activities can be added to the ledger if I spend just 5 minutes in a Sandbox.

So as an aside why don’t I just use Sandchain?

My Not Degree is on hold while I rest and recover so I don’t want to use it right now…

What Does Bootstrap5 do?

It is a simple 5 minute activity log implemented as a local web app which uses local AI with LM Studio to provide an encouraging sentence or two based on what I told it I did. I’m not actually sure why I couldn’t have no AI involvement but it genuinely does seem to help, in a gentle way.

What If I want to enter a Sandbox during my holidays.

The rule I have set for myself is I won’t log the time as part of my Not Degree — and what I have been doing is logging it with this tool and Sandchain.

So what is this doing?

It’s providing a scaffold that I can use to do gentle reps of 5 minutes (or more if I feel like it) on activities that help me to rehab my attention span, which got an absolute hammering to get me through to my holidays. So much effort to get here.

Early data is positive. I used the tool to log 50 minutes of 5 minute blocks on a wide range of tasks yesterday while and after I was developing it.

These tasks are nourishing and stand against what was happening before that, which was I was falling into Youtube and Facebook loops. I am not totally clear of that these holidays yet — but it is helping…